The deadliest myth about love rolls off the tongue like the lyrics from a pop song. Baby, sometimes love just ain’t enough. It was fine when Patty Smyth sang it, pop musicians aren’t known for their honesty and no one lives their life based on truths from the Billboard 100. But I’ve heard this particular lie on love from one of my previous pastors.
Thank God I was already married at the time, but I recall a Sunday where one of the assistant pastors in the church was talking about newly married couples. She started by describing them as, “You know the ones, all bright eyed and hopeful. The ones who think love is enough.” I was waiting for her to get into a message on the power of love when she followed her previous statement with ‘I felt sorry for them. I didn’t have the heart to tell them that love ain’t gonna be enough.’ Then she broke into a condescending chuckle.
I would like to give her the benefit of the doubt. I think she may have meant to say, “this young couples’ love was a great start and, they would face challenges and need to fall back on that love in order to make it through.” I hope that’s what she meant. But what she said, and what hundreds of others have said to me personally, is that love ain’t enough.
Of course, my message doesn’t preach as well as the Word of God. So, for all those who question whether love is really enough to make a marriage last forever, I invite you to meditate on the love that is described in 1 Corinthians 13. It is a detailed breakdown on love that is more complete than any song, more descriptive than any poem and more accurate than any message I’ve heard on the topic.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV
Now, take a minute to ponder whether you could be married to someone who took 1 Corinthians 13 as their job description. What if your boyfriend “applied” for the position of spouse by studying each statement on love separately? What if your spouse frequently sought “on the job training” by meditating on the statements below? What if you both retained them as the values that you would share for an eternity? Well, if that’s not the way you entered your marriage then it’s not too late. The real understanding of love is explained below. And this love, God’s Love, is more than enough.
- Love is patient – I will take my time with you, when you need more time to agree or understand or figure me out, I will be patient and not rush you.
- Love is kind – I will be nice to you, I will do things for you, I will tend to you and I will treat you like you are special, all the time.
- Love does not envy – I will not be envious or jealous of you. I will treat you like we are one, like you are the other half of me and there is no room and no reason for me to be jealous of what you have.
- Love does not boast – our marital union has made us ONE so I can never be better than you. Therefore, I won’t boast, I will just celebrate what WE have and what God allowed to come into our lives
- Love is not proud – we are at our best when we flow with one another. My love is not singular, it is possible because God first loved me and it is dependent on you sharing your love with me. I can’t boast or be proud of love because we own it together.
- Love does not dishonor others – I won’t do anything that belittles you or casts you in a negative light. I won’t do anything that challenges the honor that God has bestowed on you or my commitment to Him that I would love and honor you.
- Love is not self-seeking – I won’t seek anything purely for my own means, I will seek everything for the joy of both of us. And if I have to choose, I’ll choose your joy and happiness over my own knowing that you would do the same for me.
- Love is not easily angered – I won’t get mad quickly or easily. I will hold my temper and acknowledge that anger is a response to some primary emotion. I will find that primary emotion – I am sad, fearful, scared – and resolve that thing so we can keep anger out of our relationship.
- Love keeps no record of wrongs – I will not keep any log, in my mind, on paper or in a computer, of anything that you have done to me. I choose now to care enough about you to confront the problem and then let it go after we have resolved it, starting each new day with the grace and mercy that God has given me.
- Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth – I will stay away from evil, no matter how interesting or enticing. And I will seek the truth about you, about me and about all of the external challenges.
- Love always protects – I will do whatever I can to protect you and to protect your husband (me). I will protect our marriage and union (from that lady who keeps flirting) and, when we have kids I will protect them from as many dangers as possible and pray that the Angels protect when I can’t
- Love always trusts – I will always trust you. When you speak, I will always assume that you are telling me the truth and that you have no ulterior motives. If that is ever not the case then we will deal with it until I can get back to the place of trusting you first and always.
- Love always hopes – I choose to be positive and hopeful, I choose to believe the best about you and us and never gravitate towards the worst.
- Love always perseveres. – I will not treat our love like a seven year rental that will end when you or I have an itch. I am committed to you and I will stay committed to the future you as we both grow and evolve.
- Love never fails – I believe that it won’t ever be love, God’s love, that fails. It may be prophecies (grand declarations about your relationship from a higher authority) that fail. There may be tongues (cultural nuances or dialects that others want you to use) that fail. There may be knowledge (moral wisdom or religious instruction) that fails but not love- it never fails.
After reviewing the clarity of love in 1 Corinthians 13 I always come to the conclusion in #15. It is God’s love, the totality of love, that will never fail. This love will always be enough if you are willing to walk in it. Are you?